But inside, I’m screaming.
I hate this. I hate that the only reason I do anything is to make other people happy.
I’m so perfectly content to sit here, destroying myself without my parents noticing.
But when Harley sits down and tells me that I need to tell them I need a hospital, I jump to the task to make her happy.
And now, I have to stick to it to make them happy.
Renfrew? Sure Daddy, if it makes you happy.
New medicine? Sure Daddy, if it makes you happy.
I’m just yessing them to death.
It makes me sick.
I don’t want to go in the hospital. I am not ready for treatment. I will not accept the treatment.
I do not want to kill myself, or hurt myself, I just want to be thin.
Can’t you see that I’m lying to you, and telling you what you want to hear?
Are you all that blind?
I wasn’t suicidal yesterday, but I pretended to be so that you would listen to me. So that you would put me in a hospital because Harley said I needed one.
Then today, you gave me a whole lecture about how your parents never gave you the opportunity to get better, and that you would die for me.
So now I’m going to a different hospital because you say I need to.
I don’t want any of this.
